Saturday, June 26, 2010

The TRUE Empty Nest

I have twins.  Identical.

Being identical, they are similar in many ways (looks, interests, tastes), but yet very individual (personalities, pursuits, hobbies).

The same, but different.

They graduated from college last month....together.

Most mothers (and fathers) generally start the bewailing and 'wringing of heart' the Senior year of high school concerning their children leaving the nest.

Being a mother who would experience the "empty nest" all at once, I would often get the question:  "How did you handle it?"

Well, I would say two things ~ one is.......a project.  I had a project to keep me busy.  So, I would suggest perhaps to pick a project and set a goal.  Anything from small to large:  cleaning out the basement, making a scrapbook of family vacations, taking a class you've always wanted to, volunteer, plan a trip, or a myriad of other things that would fit into your life and interests.

The other is ~ perspective.  At the time my girls were graduating from high school, their cousin was fiercely and courageously battling a terminal cancer she was diagnosed with when she was thirteen.  Now, that puts things in the proper context.  My children were healthy, and entering a new chapter of their lives.  A GOOD thing.  Health, life and being able to take the next step on this flight in order to grow, spread wings, and fly is a beautiful and wondrous thing.


I know it helped that they were within a day's driving distance, and we saw them probably once a month or so.

Their last semester they both spent abroad.  One in Italy and one in Germany.  Somewhat harder.  Thank God for Skype, however!!!

Now, to me ~ the TRUE "empty nest" is setting in ~ one is heading to her first "real" job and one is heading to East Asia for a year enrolled in university and interning with Campus Crusade for Christ.

The FINALITY of their childhood seems to be real now. 

Much to their chagrin, however sometimes I am very good at practicing the old adage:  "Once a mother, always a mother."  (Did you put on sunscreen?  Did you Mapquest?  Did you eat today?).  So,

The same, but different.

The basement is calling my name.....

1 comment:

  1. You have such beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted and friendly girls. Perspective - it's so important isn't it? It affects how we face and then handle just about everything!

    If you need help cleaning out your basement, give me a call next week - my girl will be out of town visiting family.

    Love - Melissa


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